Get Real, Enjoy Your Other Half

Cartoon Illustration of Happy Man and Woman Couple in LoveThose of you who have had a celebrity crush in the past year, raise your right hand. Now look around at the thick forest of hands around you. Crushing on celebrities is the most natural thing in a culture that sells illusion by the bulk such as ours, and there’s nothing wrong with that. That is, there’s nothing wrong with that if you don’t get carried far away from the real world because, you see, the real world has plenty to offer and you probably knew that when you chose your partner.

Sticking by the choices we make is advice most of us have heard at one time or another, but as time goes by, we’re prone to start forgetting why exactly we made this choice or that. Watching the starry eyes or beautiful smile of your favorite actor/TV presenter/musician and sighing sadly as you compare them to your actual life companion is understandable but not very healthy and not very productive, either. Have you sometimes tried to recall the reasons you chose the person you are with at the moment in the first place? There must have been a reason, and a good one, at that. Perhaps a pair of starry eyes or a beautiful smile? Or perhaps something deeper, like a caring nature or a no-nonsense approach to life that made your eyes water in those early days? The thing is that the old cliche about life being made up of choices is true and will always be true. We are the ones that make the choices and the ultimate responsibility for these choices stays with us. It’s true that people change but it’s also true that at heart we remain more or less the same. As the years go by, we may get a bit tired, a bit bored with what we have and start forgetting how we felt about it at the beginning, we don’t even need a celebrity crush for that. Chances are we felt great, that’s why we chose the life we did. Yes, we sometimes make the wrong choice but most things in life are fixable, you know, and it’s all up to you to fix the things that bother you and make you unhappy.

So, did you recall that spark that pulled you to each other in the beginning of your life together? Those butterflies in the stomach that fluttered like mad every time you saw him? Maybe if you did, you could shake off the three, five, ten or twenty years that have passed since then for a moment, see things through the eyes of that different, younger person you were back then. Life has that quality of creeping up on you and piling up everyday worries, anxieties and resentment at the doorstep of your mind, and if you’re not careful, you’ll let the door get busted in, letting the whole pile inside. If you are careful, you’ll open it regularly, give your mind some airing and sift through those neverending worries and problems, discarding some as insignificant and taking care of the big ones. And you know what? You don’t have to do this alone. Long ago you met someone who won you over with some unique quality that made you feel like you’re at the top of the world. This someone is probably still beside you. Enjoy your real life, it’s worth it.